Tuesday, August 31, 2010

~believe me~

3 weeks has past...
slowly the pains fading away...
but she's still in my heart...
n i'm thinking of posting one of my notes for her...
so, here it is...

~believe me~

you are my pulse..
you are my blood that runs in my veins..
you are my tears that flows from my eyes..
you are the wrinkles that forms when i laugh or smile..
you are my backbone that supports me..

and ,

i wish you will stay that way..
you create the smiles on my face..
you make me shed my tears when you're sad..
you make me bleed when you said goodbye..
you make my heart beats faster when i hear your voice..

but ,

if you were gone and you don't miss me..
that's the sign that i should go..
if eternity is plenty then it's still not sufficient..
when the time comes, you'll fly away..

therefore ,

promise me that you'll fly back to my arms..
promise me when you are ready..
you know that i'll always be here..
even if my body is gone..
the memories is still there..
my heart is still yours..
even if it stops beating..

so ,

i'm not a good person but i'm loyal..
i'm a cheater but i can't cheat myself..
i DO love you..i DO need you and i DO crave for you..
all that i'm saying is , i may not be perfect but YOU make me perfect and whole..
no other person can do that..

believe me~

*have nothing to write*

p/s: Selamat Hari Raya dan Maaf Zahir Batin~

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

...two weeks of loneliness...

it's has been two weeks she left me...
oh man! 
why i can't forget about her?
feels like shit man...

(masuk bab blaja sket)
it seems that a few couple of days i really applying my studies in my life...
have been posting quotes at fb...
*mengalahkan Shakespeare je aku nih* :D:D:D
and everyone love it...(great!!)

so, whose behind all this?
i admit that she's the one who triggers me...

a man is really lucky if he's the first love of a woman,  but a woman is luckier if she's the last love of a man...
*it seems that i'm not a lucky guy*

loving someone that doesn't love you is like reaching for a star..you know you'll never reach it but you just got to keep trying...
*i'm trying hard right now*
*or am i not trying hard enough?*

she's happy living with her life right now...
i need to happy be as well...
unfortunately it seems hard for me to produce a sweet and nice smile...
yes, i am smiling..
but inside i'm dying..
i'm just faking a smile..

before i met her, i never knew how it is like to look at someone and smile for no reason...

everytime i looked into her eyes, i suddenly smiled...
everytime i received texts from her, my heart is full with joy...
everynight we talk through the phone, it feels like the whole world is ours...

but now...
everytime i look into her pictures, i suddenly crying...
everytime i receive a text, i always hoping it is from her.. 
*cme tinggal harapan*
everynight is empty for me now...
~my world is empty~

there's no other girl that can do those things to me...
eventhough i have many  friends among girls, she'd the only girl that can fill my heart with love...
she's the only girl that capable of doing that...

ah man!!!
~i'm into jiwang mode la plak~
*cut it out raouf*

if you have it (love), you don't need anything else but if u don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have..

*i've lost everything*

i'll keep waiting...
and waiting...

a very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love...

that's all for today's entry...
*mlm ni aku banyak merepek*

Sunday, August 22, 2010

~who should be blame???~

L . O . V . E :
  Who should be blame if a leaf is fell down from a tree??? 
is it the wind who blew it down??? 
or the tree that let it go??? 
or maybe the leaf that tired of holding on???

my answer is.....


Friday, August 20, 2010

it's already more than a week she left me...
looks like i'm getting back my usual life as a single person...
i can smile back now...
it's not that i'm forgetting her or whatever...
she'll always b in my heart...
it's just that there's no point if she's happy with her life and i'm not...
*btol x??
hahaha...(a fake laugh)
even though i'm showing a fake laugh and smile, i still need to do it...
it's a starting point to be happier...

~that's all for today's entry~

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

~building a bridge to get over n cross the river of tears~

they say past is the past we need to move on to see the future..
but how can we move on when our past is the only thing we want in the future....

one of my friends say this to me:

"don't u realize that sometimes the thing that u want in past is not actually the thing u want for future???"

yeah man~

i didn't realize it until u said that to me..



he also added that...

...sometimes the search is all we have to keep us going...


can i search my heart that lost in the path of love??

but this is something that hit back in my face...

he said:

‎"I'm sorry" is a statement. "I won't do it again" is a promise. "How do I make it up to you?" is a responsibility.



sometimes i do feel that am i the best person for her???

n the answer is no~

i knew that on the first day of Ramadan~

after i broke my fast that day, my two eyes are red, my feeling are blue..

i can’t sleep in bed cause i miss her..

but if she doesn’t miss me, than something is wrong...

cause my heart is sweet, that’s where she belong..


i kept thinking n thinking until i realize there is a difference in what we long for, what we settle for, and who we are meant for..


rite now i'm building a bridge to get over n
cross the river of tears~


but to build a bridge is really tough n it doesn't
need an individual strength..i need everyone's strength to help me to build it n cross the stream..


something's better is waiting for me
at the other side of this river of tears~


need somebody to lean on until they need somebody else to lean on.. :)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

if u forget about me

~for that one special girl from sabah~

I want you to know one thing.....

You know how this is:
if I look,
at the crystal moon,
at the red branch,
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch,
near the fire,
the impalpable ash,
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats that sail,
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.....

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.....

If suddenly you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.....

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners,
that passes through my life,
and you decide,
to leave me at the shore,
of the heart where I have roots,
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms,
and my roots will set off,
to seek another land......

if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me,
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower,
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love,
beloved and as long as you live it will be in your arms,
without leaving mine.....

Friday, August 13, 2010

~the 1st day of Ramadhan will be in my memory forever~

Bismillah~ with the name of Allah i start this blog~

everyone who started to write a post may tell us a sweet story, such as "i have a blog now!!!", "please follow me!!!"  but for me it's the other way round..

the 1st Ramadhan will be in my memory..

it's because i juz broke up with my gf..
~standing under the rain..it feels good but you know it will soon make you sick~

she's such a great person..
we haven't complain about each other since we declared..
but life is unpredictable n so as people..
i'm juz not good enough to replace the memory about her ex with our sweet moments together..
she kept remembering him..
staying under his shadows..
~i'm not gud enough~

i stood under the rain for hours this evening..
now i know how it feels like when staying with someone you really love even if you know you two can't be together for a lot of reasons..
it is like standing under the rain..it feels good but you know it will soon make you sick..
sometimes i really do doubted some tips about love..

for example, 
 "A girl's ex-crush will always be in her memory, but the guy she
loves now stays in her heart."

it didn't happened to me i guess..
31 interesting tips about girls..it is interesting..naa~ juz some tips that can go either way..

if u guys wanna come out wit some tips,
please, please, n please 
provide some true facts or researches that can support ur tips..

to my dear ex-gf,
 u r freely to go..go n find someone that is good enough for u..
not like me~
n perhaps that guy can help u to forget ur ex..~
i'll always pray for u..~
n please remember ur promises to me..~

~please keep ur promises~

that's all for my 1st entry~