Sunday, January 9, 2011

-honesty is the best policy-

familiar with the words above???
yeah it's true...
it's something that my friends taught me about..
i don't know where to start..
maybe i just need to start by saying sorry..
sorry for the lies i've done..
maybe some of you now will never ever believe every single words that i tell..
maybe some of you still curious why did i started and where did i get the infos..
now i'll start with why i lied..
yeah it's true that i failed my 2nd test for me to pursue my undergraduate studies in UK..
before the results came out, i've already bragging about going there..
but right after the results came out, i was so frustrated and i don't know what to say to all of you..
i'm the type of person that doesn't want anyone to know my failure..
that's the 1st reason why i didn't let the truth out..
then, i'm the type of person that always trying to make myself to look strong by trying to gain everyone's attention and respect..
why i wanted that???
because i don't want to look weak after i've been dumped..
maybe from  the outside i look strong..
but inside, i'm still a normal person..
i'm too soft..
eventhough i'm very well known with my words of wisdom and advices..
but i'm the type of person that can't listen to my own words..
yes i know what i did was over the limits..
i feel very dumb when i think about it..
some of you may ask, "ko x fikir ke klu kantoi nnt jd ape?"
yes i did think about it..
but i ignored it..
"because you can't think when you want to lie..
if you think, you might be caught.."
*i'm not encouraging you to lie*
*klu nk menipu tanggung sendiri*
up until this point, some of you may think, "peluang utk ke oversea ade ke x??"
the answer is yes..
i don't wanna talk too much..
so, here's the link...
other than British Council, you may take a look into Mabecs..
if there are any inquiries any doubtful infos about the links that i posted here, you may contact British Council Malaysia and Mabecs..
so, there are chances to study abroad..
meanwhile for the scholarships that all of you always wanted is on the links below..
http://www.studyabroad.com/scholarships.aspx
http://malaysia-scholarship.net/page/4/

UCAS???
if you pass the IELTS test, than u can talk about UCAS..
Newcastle University???
take a look on the links below..
http://www.ncl.ac.uk/undergraduate/course/Q300/entrance-requirements
this university is on my 1st list to study abroad..
now, i just can have a look..
it's only a dream for me..
maybe some of you might say to me,"peluang ade lg.."
but i've failed again..
too much money wasted..
i just don't want to burden my parents..
so, if you wanna study abroad, do it accordingly..
may any one of you can go there..
Aamiiin..

till here, some of you might think how did i get caught...*the true story*
i know that if i tell any of you the true story, even ONE of you know, the news will spread quickly..
i already think about the consequences..
and i know that i have to bare it because it's my own fault..
thanks to that someone that made me realize about this..
because of that someone, i don't wanna lie..
it's very painful when you have to lie about you're going far away from that person but in reality the two of you are very near to each other..
it's too painful to bare with it..
i can't stand it..
i'm not a heartless person..
because i care and love that person so much, i don't wanna lie to her anymore..
btw, the rumors about i'm trying to tackle one of your friends is totally not true.. 
the only person that i'm looking at now is only that person..
to be logically, if i'm going to 'usha' the girl in that rumor, i don't need to reveal the truth to any one of you..
because if i want her that badly, i'll continue these lies and try to win the girl in that rumor's heart..
but in reality, because of that one person, because i lied to her once and get caught, i can't bare the pain to continue the lies anymore..
some of you may have someone inside your mind about who am i talking about..
but i can't say either yes or no..


i don't have anything to say anymore..
i've done my part with explaining the true situation..
untuk memaafkan atau tidak adalah tugas anda yg membaca post ni..

i already think about all the consequences after i reveal the truth..
it's ok..i have to face it..
i'm accepting my past without regret, i'm handling my present with confidence, and i'll face my future without fear..

 plus, to that person, you already asked me to wait..
for sure i'll wait no matter how long it takes..
the only truth that i've ever told you is
I Love You..

5 comments:

syazwan said...

haiya raof..xpe2,no heart feeling..

Lisa said...

everybody makes mistake.most important thing is to learn from it.everybody is looking 4ward to abroad studies but maybe there is a solid reason u are not allowed to go there.we can be intelligent in every single way,without His permission,we r nothing.brag can't be helped.*syaitanirrajim.know that "padi makin berisi makin tunduk".good luck. :)

Raouf Sora said...

Syazwan:pokwe ke?? thanx bro..tp rase bersalah tu ttp ade dan sedang memakan aku lg...

lisa: thanx for the advice..right now i'm accepting my past without regret, i'm handling my present with confidence, and i'll face my future without fear..

Muhamad Farid said...

It's okay if you cannot accept failure... but remember, failure does make us mature ourselves...
please, meet our TESL lecturers and seek their forgiveness...

Raouf Sora said...

farid: i did try to meet them yesterday..but, they don't have time..i'm looking forward to meet them this weekend..